I didn't even bother to find out who won the Superbowl until today. I've never really done well with witnessing competitions. I get too nervous. I remember even being at the edge of my seat as a 6-year-old when there was that vote to decide with the rabbit would finally get a bowl of Trix. In the end he did, and he was happy.

Nico, Phatrick, and I were glued to the radio today with considerably more anticipation than a cereal commercial. Heading down to Santa Cruz, with the understanding that on the way back up we might discover who the next president would be. And then I remembered another reason I don't engage in things like this: the team I root for never wins.

Not to be all pessimistic about Obama losing the California primary, but it took me quite awhile to get to the point of caring, and for better or worse I care very much now. Like most uber-cool progressive folks around me, I've remained skeptical throughout--even sometimes adapted the whole "it doesn't matter who wins they're all just puppets for the MAN" stance. But this past weekend I found myself stuck to YouTube for the democratic debates, and realizing that I was on the verge of history. And though I recognize the verges of history that we are in with the potential of a first black or woman president, and the massive turnout of youth voters, and a considerable change of policy, I mean a different verge. If Obama becomes our president it'll be the first time in my "political" life that I won't strongly dislike our president. I don't know if I'm ready for that. In a world that's become so angry with its leaders, what will we do with someone who seems so...cool?

When Bush first stepped into office, I wasn't even old enough to really care, or understand the type of social impact it would have. Four years later I was spending spending the summer in Chicago around the same time that a local alderman named Barack was running for senator of Illinois. The level of grassroots support, hope in the words of people of color in Chicago, stuck with me in a way that has made it difficult to front like I'm not hella feeling Obama.

Over the past couple of weeks everyone in iLL-Lit started revealing to each other that, despite all the criticisms we have about the whole thing, we all want the dude to be president. Watching the debate I found myself relating to little idioms that shouldn't mean much but do--he's left-handed, his name isn't easily pronounceable, he listens to Jay-Z. Little irrelevancies indeed, especially when determining qualification for a presidency, but this is the first time I've felt like I have something in common with a candidate.

Living in the Bay where Obama's presence is felt in every corner, I've had to revisit the fact that I really do live in a bubble. Because I was sure that California was going to lean toward that way. To think that so many of us thought that Cali was a given has put me in a weird place. How many of my other political views that I think represent the masses really differ from public opinion? Because I was sure at least Cali was down with Obama.

We'll have to see what happens next. The day has been long, and my thoughts are convoluted.

Trying not to get jaded,
Driz