look at that! what the hell??? it's like he vogued in between lines!

compare that to me:



see?? it doesn't even look like i'm performing...more like i was polishing my fingernails and the fumes started burning my eyes. and for you myspace photo experts, you know that making a picture black and white usually helps it look better. NOPE, not in my case. it just makes me look timelessly gumpish.

and peep this one:



sometimes i wonder what the hell i was saying/doing the moment these shots were taken. it looks like i'm trying to pass a SBD (silent-but-deadly). and look how pasty i am. not a good look for the ladies. but look, it gets worse...this one looks like i'm trying to make out with a baboon's ass:



and what's worse is that in most of these pictures, my eyes are HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLA squinted...unnaturally squinted...inhumanly squinted...i'm such a stereotype. i might as well throw on a hawaiian shirt and sing ricky martin songs.

this next one might remind you of a show from baaaaaack in the dizzay.



that's right folks, "attack of the killer tomatoes."



at least during performances i can be like "well, i was caught up in the moment, i wasn't thinking about trying to be photogenic"...but with photoshoots, there's really no excuse. something that photographers love to capture spoken word artists do is to shoot them "in their element," or in other words, take pictures of them performing completely out of context, in settings that they would never be performing in. and when you're trying to do that for a group of four at the same time, it just quadruples the chances for hideousness.



now there's only one word that my lips can be poised to say in this picture, and that's "fffffffffffffffugly." i don't even know why i'm crouching down like that! i don't remember doing that!! i was probably trying to the "rebel poet" and instead i look like gollum.



but i have to admit, regardless of all that, DAHLAK takes the cake for THE worst performance picture ever...you wanna see it??? huh??? okay...

AAAWWWWWWWkward...