I know this is going to tarnish my reputation among my fans in the body-building-monster-truck-thug category (whose population shies only to that of my precious-moments-collecting-mothers-in-delaware contingent) but I have a confession to make: For the past few weeks I have been secretly envying the blog of John Mayer. Yeah. John Mayer. You wanna make something of it, punk?

I know, I know, it's a long stretch from the days when I was a freedom fighter, and I can already imagine my blog readers who have N.W.A. posters in their bedrooms shaking their bandana-wrapped heads in disappointment. But yo, I can't even front...I've become quite the avid JMB (John Mayer Blog) reader. So let me go ahead and elaborate, before you come to terms with the fact that you're spending your precious precious time reading a blog about a blog, and decide to be more productive with your life by planting a tree or voting for Native Guns on MP3.com.

So besides the fact that the man is hilarious, I am completely mesmerized by the fact that he's able to update it so often. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET, JOHN?? One would think that, for a person who's touring the world and dodging the paparazzi, there would be plenty of jacuzzi parties and oyster-slurping to keep one distracted from the internet. It makes me feel pathetic as a writer, boo-hooing that my day job is taking up all my time and energy from writing, when John freakin Mayer is running laps around me. Because it can mean only one of two things: either John Mayer is simply oodles more prolific than me, or the reality of celeb-dom leaves all star folk singers ample evenings to sit around at home with nothing to do but polish their Grammys and update their blogs.

So what excuse do I really have to not be updating at least as often as John Mayer? I'm sure that's the very question that most people ask themselves every morning. And you know, I only have one answer: The nimble fingers. For typing. And for strumming. Our heart strings.