so in an attempt to inspire myself to write, i dug through my old blogs this morning and stumbled across *gasp!* poetry about an ex-girlfriend. don't worry, y'all, i'm okay...i'm actually quite proud that i didn't get hurled into the oblivions of emo-dom, i tend to do that sometimes. alas, my skin has petrified slightly, and the lines that once made my heart flutter now make my throat...want to vomit. for real, no wonder people stopped commenting on my blog back then...all the gushiness was probably spilling out of the screen and jamming up their keyboards.

...yenno, not to downplay my past-self's emotions or anything...

what i did find interesting, while uncovering these past years' milestones, was how good my imagery was, but at the same time how i was frustrated at my "writer's block" that i was experiencing. at that point, all i wanted to do was write another "watts experiment" and all that was coming out were reflective journal entries that were actually pretty saucy (if you're able to ignore the CUPCAKE CRUMBS!!). anyway, just some food for thought, because lately i've been writing short vignettes which are great but, ironically, i envy my writing from the time that i was least satisfied with my writing. oftentimes when people talk to me after shows, they tell me that they've been going through a writer's block. what i'm starting to realize, however, is that what people are experiencing (including myself at times) is less of a block of creativity, and more of a block of peace in your current creative process. because then you start trying to write like you did in the past, when you've grown out of it. just trust in your own growth, and it'll happen.

because like i said in one of my past journal entries, if humans could do exactly what they thought was best for them, we would all still be kicking at the insides of our mothers' wombs.

oh, me.